Τρίτη, 25 Δεκεμβρίου 2012

New letter to my dad

Christmas day.
I am not as loyal to this blog as I used to be. I used to write almost everyday. And now I write a couple of posts every month.

It's on my mind all the time. I am thinking about the new letter I want to write to my dad. A new letter to thank him for everything he is. Two years ago I wrote him a letter. I knew he did not read it back then. This time I know he will read both letters. And he will understand both of them.

So.

Dear dad.

Thank you. Thank you for being so patient with me. Thank you for disagreeing. Thank you for the loving, understanding environment you provided for me when I was a child. Thank you for keeping the door open for me. I knew the door was always open. And that is what gave me the courage to do every crazy thing I could think of. I knew the door was always open. To return.

You always wanted me to be strong. And I was. You wanted the best for me. And I did not always choose what was best for me. You wanted me to be fearless. Independent. And I was scared. Dependent. And I denied it. You wanted me to use my knowledge and strength. And I did not. People saw the outside. The package. The package was just this. A package. My soul deep deep inside was hurting.

Whatever I did in the past was an accumulation of images, adventures, experiences. With or without you. Mostly without you. I was the big girl. I could do it alone.

The time has passed. We both left the edges and we came closer to the middle. The middle is nice, safe, warm, loving, understanding. I'm so grateful we managed to find the middle before you check out. I am listening. You are listening.

And this time is not about approval. It is about two equal adults discussing. It is about sharing. It is about accepting. It is about listening.

Thank you.

Σάββατο, 8 Δεκεμβρίου 2012

This quiet happiness...

December. Nine months in this city. This city that keeps giving me thrills and joys. I used to hate this city. I was 17 and the world was ahead of me. It was normal.

Now I'm back here. I'm different and so is the place. I keep meeting new, wonderful people. I miss my friends in Athens. But I'm here now.

This crisis business will either work positively or negatively. There are two kinds of people.

One kind sits and adores its misery, indulging in worst case scenarios and blaming everyone else.

The other kind is perpetually searching for a deeper meaning, finds light in the dark, creates from ashes.

This city is giving me good photographs. And lots of inspiration. One day, I saw my friend Sophia's photos. She had taken her photographs and put them as cover to some notebooks. It was a really great idea. And I took permission to do the same. My photographs haven't been used for a long time and it was time to do something about it. I worked on it, made samples, got help from a graphic designer and made them. The result pleases me and I have already sold many. If you want to know more about my new notebooks, check out my artifacts website here.

This crisis blessing - as I prefer to call it - has made many young, talented, inspired people to come back to their roots. The more we are, the more change we will bring in the city. We are educated, we have travelled and we have the strength to make some changes. Sometimes I can feel the magic sparkle when I meet someone who has just arrived or is here for a year or so. The sparkle of recognition. The sparkle of someone who probalby feels the same. A sparkle that we can make into a fire. This fire might burn the old. I am a dreamer. I believe that this town I used to hate can be transformed into the town I love. The town I will always have as a base between my travels.

I am quietly happy.