Τετάρτη, 27 Ιουλίου 2011

On kids

What do you do when a child pushes your limits?

Do you get angry? Do you yell at him? Do you have the patience to explain yourself?

All these questions are in my mind lately. Children can be very cooperative and fun, but children can also be a pain in the ass. Sorry about my lack of other words...

Sometimes my good energy seems to work with children. Little Rosa, from Belgium, was in a very bad mood. She was very sad that she would leave behind me and Freeda and the camping. She made me cry when she gave me a giggle when I kissed her belly... She was so sweet!

On the other hand, the child I care for these days is much older and very angry because of a bad divorce. He sometimes takes it out on me. The nanny. Sometimes I am calm and I respect his emotions. But sometimes I lose my patience and scream at him. Is this the way I am treating my inner child? My angry, unexpressed  inner child? Maybe.

It is very interesting when one interacts with kids. They have a whole different perspective about the world.

Kids are not easy. You have to think about every word you say. Every move you make. Because they will copy you in no time. They will show you what you don't like in yourself. And they will show you what you love about yourself...

Δευτέρα, 18 Ιουλίου 2011

Easy living

Kamares by night
Hot, hot, hot weather...

One yellow butterfly on the beach...
Yellow, glittering sand on my feet...
Children playing around me...

I will not let my mind blow it all away. I am enjoying every moment on this island. It's a blessing. i could not even imagine that this summer I would live something so intense.

I will stay with the child until the 10th of August. A whole month of child sitting. Games on the beach.

What more can one ask for! I will never forget this summer!

Τετάρτη, 13 Ιουλίου 2011

Mind games

Sometimes I do wonder. How can one person be in the most beautiful place, have work - and subsequently money -  have a lovely man, swim everyday and still be miserable?

I do wonder. My mind plays games. In my head I worry, in my mind I fight, in my mind I feel terrible. I look at the sea and I do not enjoy now. It is just stupid. It is just the way I am.

All day yesterday I was feeling terrible. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I could not stop it. I WOULD not stop it. I was watching myself from a distance feeling terrible. I was worrying for things that are not mine, I was feeling like I had lost myself in a wave of anger and fear. The hours went by, I was losing a beautiful, playful day. The afternoon came and I was watching my child - the child I'm looking after - and his friends play in the sea. They were standing right where the sunset was making it's golden road.

And I took some deep breaths. Here. Now. The children are playing. They are happy. Here. Now. I'm happy watching them. Here. Now. The moon is getting bigger. My reality is beautiful. Stop fighting in your mind. Please. You are safe. You can be happy. You deserve this beauty.

The children got out of the sea. They had a nice shower. We had a nice evening. The sun set for one more time, the wind was blowing like every other day and the moon got out eventually. It did not matter anymore. Nothing mattered.

This wave of misery was over. I told him a bedtime story and we went to sleep. It's summer. He is on holiday. He is happy. Me and little Elina are happy too.

Have a nice day...

Δευτέρα, 11 Ιουλίου 2011

Children

I was getting tired of this hectic schedule. I was asking for help.

And the answer came through my bosses child. Now I'm baby sitting. This seven-year-old came into my life. I'm taking him to the beach. I'm making up stories for him to go to sleep.

I do prefer this child energy in my life. No more Sifnos vanity.

I'll tell you more as the days go by...

Δευτέρα, 4 Ιουλίου 2011

Watching my life from a distance

 It is very strange to work on an island. It is a serene and beautiful place, yet I have to get up at 8.00, have coffee and breakfast and run to work by 10.15. The moped has saved my life, because it takes me to the next village in 10 minutes. Then work by 2.30 and back home for: swimming, cooking, eating, resting, getiing ready for the night. In 3 hours I have to do all this and maybe skip the swimming part... Every afternoon I feel I have to catch a train that will leave without me... And then I have to be really well dressed and smiling, whatever the circumstances. Work starts again at 19.00 till 1.30 in the morning.

Believe it or not, it's a hectic schedule and you have little time to rest and be yourself.

On the other hand, Sifnos is a funny little place. Every night, the small street I work at, is full of people who are too overdressed, women who wear high heels and are having trouble walking the paved streets! Lots of tv celebrities I do not know because I don''t have a tv... I laugh a lot at this vanity that passes before my eyes... It is so far away from the tomboy I am and I do wonder why people have to behave like this...

Sifnos is a sociological wonder. In the midst of crisis, ladies are buying expencive clothes and gentelmen drive expensive cars. For the past years Sifnos has been a wedding island because of all these little churces by the sea... And a wedding in Greece is still a big, expensive thing to do!

I am thinking that I am here to experience the abundance of the sea and sun, to get out of the "crisis mentality" that some are trying to pass.

Sometimes I compare my summer in Skyros last year and I realise how happy I was, mucking the horse fields. The horses did not judje me from my clothes, they judged me from my soul. In fact they did not judge me at all. I was so happy hugging them and looking at them and I had so much to write about them... Same with the olive harvest in Italy... Now, I don't have anything meaningful to write...

I promise myself I will work hard here in Sifnos. I promise I will take the money and keep travelling in places that speak to my soul. I promise I will enjoy this strange and unfamiliar environment.

Have a nice day!

Παρασκευή, 1 Ιουλίου 2011

A quick little post

I have been meaning to write, but it's so busy here...

A lot of work, a lot of new friends and one new achevement. Yesterday I drove a moped for the first time in my life. Everybody tells me it is dangerous, but I am very very careful and I wear a helmet!

I'm so happy and it gives me a sense of independence. An independence I have been denying myself for so many years...

June has been very strange, with it's up's and downs, with work and play and getting to know my surroundings...

And now a new month is at it's beginning and I'm looking forward to it's blessings!

Have a good day