Δευτέρα, 29 Νοεμβρίου 2010
Σάββατο, 27 Νοεμβρίου 2010
And close to a decision. I really have to make a decision. Do I go back home for Christmas or do I go to Spain? Do I choose something safe, or do I put myself through yet another financial agony and step into the void?
The job hasn't opened up yet. I don't want to stay in Italy if things do not open up. If they don't, it means the circle has come to a close. I have seen enough beautiful pictures and done enough exhiting things and made wonderful new friends.
I really have to search my intention for my next choice.
I'll come back. It seems that the answers come when I write them down.
Meanwhile, you can enjoy the morning mist from my porch every frozen morning...
Πέμπτη, 25 Νοεμβρίου 2010
Where is the crisis in that? Cows are giving birth, pigs too. Everyone, everything in nature lives effortlessly.
Life is full of small miracles. Do we stop and appreciate them? Life is full of pieces of art. Even when I was back in Athens, I could still find small miracles, small evidences of life's beauty. Everywhere I go, I try to appreciate the beauty and richness of life. And smile a lot. I smile to everyone and they usually smile back.
Have fun everybody! Laughter is just around the corner!
Τετάρτη, 24 Νοεμβρίου 2010
It's getting very cold.
Four days now i have not picked one olive because of the rain. I'm not complaining! Instead I am working at Lorenzo's little shop in Tuscania, we are filling cans of the new oil and labelling them. Hundreds and thousants of cans to be filled, labelled and boxed...
They look pretty on the shelves. They taste even better when opened! These cans have oil from the olives I helped pick. They have a certain energy of joy. Hope that people will feel it when they try it.
The relationship. Yes. I do want a relationship with that certain man. We have to reset our priorities. Work a little bit harder to make common plans. Maybe travel together at some point. But this, now is my project. The project of travelling. I need to take my time and feel comfortable in the travelling position. To feel like a real traveller.
My main fear was to return. I need to feel the safety in returning and leaving again. That was my main fear in accepting to prticipate in the relationship. This project, right now, does not have space for the relationship. It has only space for myself. Even if it sounds egoistic, I have to take my time with myself to feel comfortable in these shoes. I'll finish what I came here for. That means at least two months away from home. Greece. That means Christmas in Italy. For me it's exhiting.
I have overcome the fear of returning. I can stay in Athens for a month and then leave again. What's wrong with that? Nothing.
Let's see what happens with the job...
PS, thanks for reading, thanks for commenting, thanks for being so supportive! When people tell me about my writing and my photographs, I feel grateful. Grateful for all these gifts that you give me when I need them. All these beautiful words... thank you for my heart!
Δευτέρα, 22 Νοεμβρίου 2010
The truth is I still love him. I still miss him. And I know he is the only person in my life who approves, besides my sister. He is strong enough to live through any decision I make.
I'll wait for now. I will not decide.
I will just indulge in my days off. Have a wonderful winter!
Σάββατο, 20 Νοεμβρίου 2010
Lets talk about food. Again. Two days ago I ate something that I might not eat again in my life! White truffles in risoto. Fine smell, fine taste, a taste of something so delicate and pure... Lorenzo's family got given some pieces of white truffle and they were kind enough to share it with me. I am lucky! I make my own abundant reality...
Another special thing we ate some days ago was wild bore. A neighbor shot a young bore and he gave us some of it's meat. Jim, my favorite cook of all times cooked it on charcoals and it was so tender! There are a lot of bores around this area and they destroy gardens, so the farmers kill them and eat them. They are a special treat, because they are very difficult to catch...
Italy's tastes are special. Even if you are having simple pasta fr lunch, it is special because it tastes of proschiutto. Potatoes are roasted not with oregano, like the Greeks do, but with wild fennel flower buds. Even pumpkins are roastedlike potatoes in the oven. And they taste really good...
And of course the foccacia bread... Used plane instead of bread, or as a base for pizza... White, fluffy, salty, heavenly! Here it is:
4 cups of warm water
3 teaspoons of yeast
10 cups of flower
1 pinch of salt
You mix everything toghether in a dough and you leave in a bowl with a little bit of olive oil underneath to rise from one hour to seven hours, it depends when you want to cook it. You put in a tray and cook! It's that simple!
And then there are the sweets... Crustata is made with dough and jam, the greeks call it pasta flora. There is german apple strudel. There is greek rise pudding. There is cake made from egg-whites called angel cake. I cannot even recall all of them! Amazing deserts every night...
Three course dinners for one month. When you are working so hard, you are hungry all the time. And Jim never lets anyone down. Even when there were fifteen of us on the table, there would be enough food to feed an army... The army of the olive harvest! Lorenzo and Jim are spoiling us... How can you leave this place without a deep, loving memory of stomach fullfilling meals and great conversations around the table...
And last but not least, the gelato... Here in Tuscania they make the best ice-cream in the region. Another heavenly taste even on cold winter days... I'm dreaming of my next outing in town so I can have some more gelato...
Hope you're all having as much fun as I do!
Παρασκευή, 19 Νοεμβρίου 2010
Yesterday it was raining so I got a bit of rest. Today it was a lovely day so we were back at picking olives. Everyone is tired and everyone wants the olive harvest to finish. It's going to finish soon. Looking back I enjoyed it immensely. It was something I had never done before in my life, and still I performed exeptionally well for a city girl. Plus, I gained enough knowledge about olives and olive oil. Plus I ended up coordinating everyone who came to help. I might have been a bit bossy, but I was an "I love you" bossy! Sorry guys! Now I am an expert at putting out the nets and crating olives from the ground! Now I am an expert at "dildoing" although I avoid it like anything.
a. To wait until another job comes up.
b. To volunteer somewhere else in Italy.
c. To volunteer in Spain.
I'll sleep on this information. I was convinced that something will come up moneywise. I'm happy!
Τετάρτη, 17 Νοεμβρίου 2010
I also expressed my feelings of fatigue to Lorenzo who understands my stress since he's been doing it for more than ten years. I have been a good worker. It's perfectly natural to feel tired. I was never used to so much physical work. And one month now we have been doing it over and over again. 420 trees done. 80 trees to go. I'll keep it up. And I'll find my way. I'll keep searching my feelings. I'll keep digging deep no matter how difficult it is.
Sometimes we are happy and sometimes we are not. That's life. It's a wonderful life and it would be very boring to be happy all the time. I have enjoyed the olive harvest. In fact, I had the time of my life. Up on the tree, down at the ground, sunny days, rainy days everyhting made me richer. It's probably easier to dig deep in your soul when you are closer to nature.
Have a good day!
Τρίτη, 16 Νοεμβρίου 2010
I am in the one of the most beautiful places I have seen. I am in the middle of my dream. And what do I do? I work myself to death. To prove I can do it. To prove to myself that this illlusion is true. I work myself to death for a trace of approval. It's very painful to admit it. Yet, If I don't admit it to myself, things will get even worse.
Sorry Elina. I'll see what I can do to make it better for you. I accept you. I want you to be warm, safe and comfortable. You have come a long way. You haved made changes. You are following your dream. You are on your heart's path. Don't let the patters of the past ruin it. Don't lose faith. Don't lose courage. I'll stand up for you. Don't cry. Please stop crying. It's gonna be ok. I love you.
PS. All photographs are taken in Assisi. Just to remind me how beautiful this trip was... And to remind me that I am a good photographer amongst other things...
Δευτέρα, 15 Νοεμβρίου 2010
A month in Italy. Why do I exhaust myself? Is it a kind of punishment? Is it that I haven't whined in a long time and I need to complain about something? I am looking for a new place to go. I can feel the circle closing. Lorenzo and his family have been really nice. They are kind and very funny. And very helpful.
I am a talented person and I still believe I don't deserve several things. Isn't that amazing? The way we are brought up? I'll keep working on these beliefs.
There. My creativity is back. Thanks for reading.
Πέμπτη, 11 Νοεμβρίου 2010
Today I was alone with Lorenzo and some other worker who works here at the farm always. No singing, no talking... It wasn't as fun as it was with everyone else. But my prayers were answered! One of my best friends came back tonight! Rebecca and another girl who I haven't met yet are here! And, from what I hear, there's another girl coming for a day. And the very best news... one of my best friends from Greece is coming for a week to see how they pick olives!
Really good news, huh?
Τρίτη, 9 Νοεμβρίου 2010
Δευτέρα, 1 Νοεμβρίου 2010
These past few days we had many new people on the farm - mostly ladies- in their late twenties, early thirties. I find it amazing how they have their own farms in the United States. It takes a lot of courage to farm, because farming involves a lot of body strength. Yet, these young people love the earth, respect the earth and try and treat it right.