Τετάρτη, 24 Νοεμβρίου 2010

4.5 Degrees...

That was the thermomerer's verdict this morning at 8 in the morning.
It's getting very cold.
Four days now i have not picked one olive because of the rain. I'm not complaining! Instead I am working at Lorenzo's little shop in Tuscania, we are filling cans of the new oil and labelling them. Hundreds and thousants of cans to be filled, labelled and boxed...
They look pretty on the shelves. They taste even better when opened! These cans have oil from the olives I helped pick. They have a certain energy of joy. Hope that people will feel it when they try it.

The relationship. Yes. I do want a relationship with that certain man. We have to reset our priorities. Work a little bit harder to make common plans. Maybe travel together at some point. But this, now is my project. The project of travelling. I need to take my time and feel comfortable in the travelling position. To feel like a real traveller.

My main fear was to return. I need to feel the safety in returning and leaving again. That was my main fear in accepting to prticipate in the relationship. This project, right now, does not have space for the relationship. It has only space for myself. Even if it sounds egoistic, I have to take my time with myself to feel comfortable in these shoes. I'll finish what I came here for. That means at least two months away from home. Greece. That means Christmas in Italy. For me it's exhiting.

I have overcome the fear of returning. I can stay in Athens for a month and then leave again. What's wrong with that? Nothing.

Let's see what happens with the job...

In the meantime, let me talk to you about somehting I have never talked to you before. Food! Yes, yesterday I drunk the most amazing, thick, dark, hot chocolate I had ever had. It was like drinking hot gelato!

PS, thanks for reading, thanks for commenting, thanks for being so supportive! When people tell me about my writing and my photographs, I feel grateful. Grateful for all these gifts that you give me when I need them. All these beautiful words... thank you for my heart!

2 σχόλια:

  1. Beautiful writing, as always, and photos that make one feel the cool air of the countryside!
    - Now, on the relationship..You seem to question yourself a lot on the ''relationship''. Still, any relationship , although it is a separate entity in its own right, it is made up of what the persons involved in it , make of it.
    Could I perhaps, offer a suggestion.. could it be that ,deep down, you want the people who love you, to prove that they do so unconditionally and therefore ,would not pose any restrictions and not make demands on you?But are these wishes mixed with some guilt feelings , and fear of loss?

    - Too many thoughts in one little phrase, but still worth analysing!

    Love,
    Penelope and Lina

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  2. Very useful comment Penelope. You seem to read me very well. Yes, everything you say is true. And I will keep on working on the "relationship" subject... I don't really need the guilt, do I? Or the loss... what is there to be lost after all? It's only a matter of loving yourself so much that nothing else matters. You can't really "lose" anything, but the love for yourself. And then you get really lost in everything that is not yours. One needs to be focused. Thanks!

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