Κυριακή, 30 Σεπτεμβρίου 2012
You think about your blog and then you just drift off reading other people's stuff. You read all these interesting articles other people wrote. Just to avoid yourself and what you have to say.
So, having nothing in particular in mind, I'm throwing my words in my blog.
September's harvest has been rich.
I am nervous about my first class tomorrow. Me, teaching History of Art. Me, being the teacher. It is not the first time, but it is the first "formal" time. In front of adults. Who will probably be older than me. What have I got to teach them? Long time ago I waived my art history knowledge. Now I have been called upon. To remember all my knowledge. To read again, to find interesting anecdotes to share.
I remember how anecdotes kept my interest more than actual dates. I remember loving the teachers who made me think - look - make my own decisions. This is the teacher I want to be. The one who will engage my audience. The one who will make them love the paintings. The one who will make them LOOK at the paintings. Leonardo Da Vinci, Boticelli, Titian, Mattisse, Bonnard, Dali, Picasso... all these names mean a lot to me, but will I be able to share this love with others?
Art History is supposedly a difficult subject. Meaning it is theory. It is not DIY, sit down and create. But I am a practical person. I want to integrate theory into an active dialogue. All this will be done while my laptop betrays me. It overheats and turns off. It's the bloody full moon.
In my experience, everything will go wrong and then, in the last minute everything will be ok.
Now that I shared all the moaning and groaning, I can relax and enjoy the process. My subject for my first class is women and the way they are portayed over the centuries. My second class will be men, my third will be children, my fourth will be dogs and so on. I will also listen to the needs of my students and form my classes according to their needs.
Deep inside I do feel I have to offer.
Let's see how it goes....
Wish me luck!
Πέμπτη, 20 Σεπτεμβρίου 2012
I don't know what's happening to me. There is a tap that opened and has flooded my heart, my soul, my senses... It is the tap of inspiration.
I have started writing a book. A book that I stoped writing because of Antonis's illness. I remembered it about a month ago. My small note book got lost. I left it back in Sifnos. So, I started all over again. And it's simply too much fun! I love it!
Have you ever thought of your creativity as a water tap? You keep it closed and look enviously at other people's taps flooding their lives. You read their interviews and look at their work. Slowly, you turn your tap on, just a tiny little bit. It just drips. One drop every day. The water is not enough. The bucket underneath the tap is still empty. You turn the tap a tiny little bit more. You are scared. What if the bucket fills up? What are you going to do with all this water? Steadily you turn the tap more and more. Your bucket is full, ready to water your garden plants. Along the way you meet peoplle who encourage you to open your tap a little bit more. You feel they want to drink your water.
It is a slow, but wonderful experience. Let's call it "The Tap Experience"!
So, let your tap open. Miracles will follow. Wet miracles! Ha ha ha!
Have a good day, love yourself for what you are, forgive yourself for what you were.
Σάββατο, 15 Σεπτεμβρίου 2012
The rain reminds you of the winter that is coming. The winter you tend to forget, when it's 40 degrees outside for two months non-stop.
Wet soil smells lovely. The sky is gray but colours are vibrant.
The time has come for me to want something like a relationship. For the past months I have been declaring. I love being alone. I am in love with me. I can do it on my own. How very convenient... How very un-true.
Sometimes you lie to yourself. You declare there is only you. And I can see women, strong women out there not committing. They say they cannot find anyone to think alike. They crave love and they are chasing dreams. Dreams of sweaty bed sheets. With the one you love so much. The one who has the body you know every inch of.
All my life I have been balancing between being in a relationship and not being in a relationship. What is better? What fills you the most? I don't think I have the answer yet. Being alone now, makes me think I do want someone to share my achievements with. Back when I was in a relationship I wanted to be free to do whatever I chose. I wanted to be alone.
What do I dream of? I dream of the "Big O" (a tale by Sel Siverstein, watch it here)
Am I a Big O? I certainly feel like one. I don't have a missing piece. I don't "need" anyone. I want a Big O who will roll with me at ease. Who will not "need" me.
We go about in life. We try this and that and the next one. The Universe is giving us choices. We take a step right. And then we turn left. And then straight again. And backwards. Forward. Right. Left. Straight... so on. We move perpetually, change choices and goals. We love, we taste, we live. Alone, in relationships, then alone again, then in relationships... What do we learn? Who will be next? Is it going to stop when you find your "Big O"?
Τετάρτη, 12 Σεπτεμβρίου 2012
The exhibition went well.
There where a lot of things to worry about. The wooden frame broke on the day we were supposed to set up the exhibition. I decided not to get angry or worried. It got fixed on time. We set up and all the friends were there to support us...
In the weekend a lovely lady had her perma-culture seminar so I ended up spending the whole day in nature with wonderful people talking about sustainability in crops and gardens. One of my favorite topics!
The artist's community invited me to teach art history, one adult class and one children's class! I don't want my class to be a boring theory class, I want it to be thrilling and engaging. Both adults and children will be able to play and create. Be inspired by the Renaissance superstars, the Dutch masters even the American painters of abstraction! It's going to be so much fun! I do hope people come to my classes...
My other love, the love for languages is hopefully make me some money. I'll teach english...
Plus some book presentations by friends who have recently published their books. I'll be glad if I can bring some cultural stir in this small town of mine...
It's going to be an exciting winter with a lot of new experiences.
I can't wait!
Πέμπτη, 6 Σεπτεμβρίου 2012
It takes courage and determination to step to the other side. You are scared. You have second thoughts. You don't like the results. But you keep on doing it. You embrace the mistakes. You forgive yourself for all the wrong sentences you wrote, all your brushes' bad strokes, all the blurred images your camera took.
There comes a moment, that whatever it is you created, asks to be exposed. It becomes a creature on its own and wants to be appreciated. It shouts, it wants to get out of the closet and the drawer you have hidden it. You must listen to it. You should really give it a chance. Send your poem to that poetry competition. Create a blog to write. Whatever. Get it out there. Find someone who will get it out there despite your fear.
The next stage is even harder. You might get approval for what you created. You might get the first prize. You might even get money from what you created. You want to run and hide. Of course you can run and hide. But you might as well embrace your success.
Yes, there will be ones who will critisize you. "You could have done it THIS WAY". Yes, but this is MY way. Bad comments usually come from people who do not dare step out of their comfort zone and actually create what hides inside them. You must endure the criticism. Draw some strength from inside. Artists are sensitive creatures. They want to run and hide.
I wish people could be more sensitive with artists. The artist has put his heart out there. The artist had chosen to step out of the comfort zone.
These are my stages. I have gone through these stages. I am now the artist. Fear used to be predominant, but I guess pride is stronger now. I feel more confident. Today my bags, my bracelets, my tobacco pouches are going to be exposed. For the first time. I will be selling my own creations.
Lets see how it goes...
Τετάρτη, 5 Σεπτεμβρίου 2012
I have watched the impact of my interview from a distance.
This time there were no big lights, big words, big... anything.
Just simple, human reactions for a human condition.
It was subtle and quiet.
Like my mood lately.
A lot of people appreciated it.
Many commented on it.
I even made some new friends because of it.
My artifacts are going to be exposed for sale in an exhibition. This is my main project right now. I'm really exhited and hopeful.
Life goes on...