On cancer and the way he invades.

 

How do I put this in words?

Only one word. Cancer. My man has cancer. In his lungs and brain.

First time I heard it last Saturday. I cried. I was scared. I did not know. There was only one word in my mind. Cancer. Is he going to die? Is he going to live?

It all started after my last post. He became sick in the stomach and slowly became very weak and could not walk. His left arm was weak. He was rushed into an ambulance. And then in the boat. And then in another ambulance. Into the hospital.

I had to care of everything. Take care of luggage. Take care of the dog. And the bird. And the trip. An angel friend picked me up and took me, Freeda and the canary back home in the middle of the night. And then I rushed to the hospital.

The doctor called me. She said it's cancer. Who do I call?? What do I say? Why? Why us? Fuck you cancer!

Do I tell him? Of cource I do. He has the right to know. He is strong enough to know. Our friends know. And the miracles begun. In three days he gets up. Starts walking and laughing again.

He becomes his real wonderful self. He said he is going to fight it. Friends stand by us. My parents and my sister stand by us. They offer us all the love in the world. They offer us ways to heal it. They offer us true love and compassion. And laughter. That's what I need. Laughter. No stories about people who die. I need compassion. Understanding.

This story brought me very close to my own death. The things I have't done yet, the travels I postpone for later, the things that exhite me and I have an excuse not to do them yet.

It's been more than a week now. He is still in the hospital.

I am calmer. I don't cry anymore. Not every two minutes.

There are two options.

In the first one he gets over it. We have a great party. We live happily ever after.

In the second one we put up our best white clothes and we say goodbye dancing and laughing about the passing of his soul to another level. We will need a jazz-blues band for the goodbye party.

I would rather believe that this is the time for healing. For me and for everybody. It is time for me and for everyone to see what is important. Who is important. I believe in true joy. I am strong and he is strong. I have the feeling that either way we will stand up to this with true and unconditional loving.

Does unconditional loving mean let him go? Yes. I will try to let him go. If this is his decision.

But I do want to see more of his painting. I do want to see more of his art. I do want to see more of him. I'll stand by him whatever he decides. I do love him.

Have a good day.

On snails and other aphrodisiacs

Sifnos was home to a cook named Tselementes. He is quite famous and he even wrote a book on cooking. What I remember being hilarious in his book, is that in the preface he writes things like how a good wife should be, how she must prepare the family table, how she must be always ready for visitors etc. Which means things I don't ever do in my kitchen, and I don't think anybody does nowadays...

Anyway that was not why I started talking about Tselemendes. I started because yesterday, we went to a food festival in his memory. We tried some of the divine foods they make here in the Cyclades, not only in Sifnos, but all the islands. Xinomitzithra from Kimolos, a light, soft, spreadable cheese. Petroti from Tinos, a very hard cheese, thus the name (petra means rock). Every island has it's own cheese and I don't even remember their names...

And then I tried snails for the first time in my life! They make them in many places in Greece, but this time it was made by the guys of Kythnos. All they said was "suck it hard"! Ha ha ha ha! You suck until the -cooked- snail comes out of it's shell and to my taste it was not as discusting as I'd expect it to be! In fact, it was delicious and very aphrodisiac I must say... I think it was all the sucking... ha ha ha!

Last but not least the infamous chick peas of Sifnos, boiled for 8 hours with onions in a special ceramic pot, in a wooden oven... Simply heaven. Before we left the feast we were so full! These guys are very good cooks...

In the meantime, the weather is wonderful and very hot.

Poulati

Another day we visited Poulati, a rocky site where we almost drowned trying to swim between the rocks, it was very windy and dangerous. Fortunately we did not drown and we continued to the sandy beach of Fasolou and had a coffee at Faros...

It's funny, I've been here three months and I only just started discovering the beaches I only heard about... I think I am blessed to be able to swim in the sea at this time of the year...

And thanks to all of you who commented on my last post, you inspire me to continue writing and travelling!

Vacation in September... for the first time

Speaking with my sister, she said I haven't written much lately. I told her I don't want to write about my every day life. And she said, that was what I was doing all this time!

It's amazing, when I started the blog, I was all exhited about writing. And now I don't want to write because I think my writing is not important... And then someone is complaining because I don't write as much... I feel grateful for the comment and here I am, writing again!

Well, the past few weeks I was babysittning this wonderful 4 year old in the afternoons.

And now, I am on vacation. I think I feel a little guilty to be on vacation when everybody else is back in Athens working really hard, if they are working at all... And then I have to remind myself that I did work really long hours (12 hours per day) throughout June, July and August and I do deserve a bit of vacation!

So, today, I woke up with my beloved man - whom I did not see at all when we were both working - and we went fishing! He made a fishing rod from bamboo and fishing line and another fishing line for octopus! of course we didn't catch anything, but it was fun, going up and down the big rocks barefoot! Even Freeda had a nice time, I left her off her lead, she climbed a big mountain looking for goats! She came back with her tongue hanging out of her mouth and a big smile on her face!

September weather is really kind for us and we have a couple of weeks to enjoy the island...


Have a nice day...