"the monster and the flame".
I had just seen my monster, realized it's there.
Eight months later, the flame is stronger than the monster.
Back then, Kanta, my teacher, told me it is not going to kill me.
If it could kill me it would have already done that.
These days my monster is really small, like a kitten. It is still there, but I'm not feeding it with my fear. Everything is going to be ok.
My flame has grown, it's about the size of a fire burning inside a fireplace. (Ιt's really hard talking about fireplaces in the middle of a burning hot summer day...)
Being alone, outside a relationship, helps me create a relationship with myself. My old patterns (the monster) are yelling and screaming and trying to drag me to the shelter of a man's heart. But this would mean going back to the old, trying to be "saved" by a male. I am in the process of healing. Unless I heal this pattern, I will only fall to the same old story.
Instead, I close my ears to the yelling and screaming monster, only to find myself creating on many levels....
I still write over here
I sew and photograph and publish over there: travellerlina's artifacts
I still take pictures on my walks.
I am in the process of creating a theater-education-for kids group in the winter with the collaboration of my sister.
I am in the process of helping a like-minded friend I just met. We are planning to create a monthly street-fair in a pedestrian street of this town, selling hand made artifacts.
I am traslating part of this book from greek to english. It is a book written by a fellow traveller, whom I haven't met yet, but I'm sure we have a lot in common.
Are you tired yet???
There are even more plans and projects in my head, although they have not manifested yet.
I am even going abroad for some days in July, but I'll keep that as a surprise.
Now that I think of it, the flame might not be just a fireplace flame.... It's even bigger!
Thanks for reading, thanks for supporting me. Thanks for believeing in me.... Now I think I believe in myself more than I used to....
Have a great summer day...