Here I am yet again...

Yes, I have not been on line... But I have been writing. And I have made some powerful decisions. September is going to be full of changes.

Saturday 28 August 2010

Kleo gave birth last night! We have been waiting for Kleo to give birth almost the whole of August. I had started to believe that she’s not going to have her baby before I leave… But last night everything was ready. The moon came up and she was there, far from the other horses in a corner of the field and she was in labour. We where all watching from a distance so as to not disturb the mother and child…

Moments of magic. Moments of nature doing what she has to do. The foal got up on it’s feet and mommy was helping it stay up. And then she led it to drink some milk. And it did! The newborn found the way to move. We where lucky to have the moon’s light above us. Amanda and Stathi where there for Kleo. They kept the other horses away, gave the mother water and food. I was siting there in the dark and watching the four of them… They are really a family… We were all very silent.

Kleo and her mum Artemis where given to Amanda and Stathis years ago. Kleo was totally unhandable. And she was raised with patience and love. And now she is the most adorable creature in the world. She is not scared of people and comes up to humans for a cuddle. This was her first baby and she was a bit unaware of what was happening to her. But it all turned out very nicely.

Another gift before I go. This place has been like a womb for me. A womb to start giving birth to my own personal journey. A place where love, patience and acceptance rule. I am leaving and I have all these images and feelings which will be there for the rest of my life.

Thursday 26 August 2010

I just lost a post. There you go. Probably I did not want to share all that was in it… All the crying and the goodbyes to the horses…

It’s all set. My trip to Italy. I am going to leave my flat in Athens and sort out my possessings. And on the end of September I am leaving for a farm in Northern Italy. I will probably take my dog with me.

So, I am waiting for the opposite polarity. The universe will check my decision. Is it strong enough, or am I going to be a coward and not do what my heart really wants? And the opposite polarity is here. The little flat that was giving me a little bit of money is unrented. I was informed today that I have no income whatsoever.

On the other hand I have faith. That everything will go as planned. I will find solutions to do what I want to do. I have to make some money. I have to use all this writing that flows from me to make some money. I have to be self dependent to be able to live my life the way I want to live it.

There is something inside me that tells me everything will be ok. I WILL NOT panic. I am strong and I will find the solutions. As long as I have faith in myself.

Monday 23 August 2010

I have not turned my computer on in a week. I guess when you are in nature you don’t need to use it every day. And I have a lot on my mind.

First, the weather has cooled off. Great strong winds have come from the north and the unbearable heat is over. It smells like autumn although it is not here - not yet. I wake up in clear, crispy mornings and in the night the moon is big and shiny. I feel that the time has come to leave the farm. The circle is almost complete. There is sadness in it. I don’t want to stay here anymore, not because I do not like it, but because I have done whatever I came here to do. I decided I am not a “horsy” person, which means I will never be crazy about riding and horses, but horses have given me the freedom and strength I needed. I am not scared of horses anymore. I’m not scared of freedom.

I will try and accept my sadness. Live with it for a while, instead of doing what I always did. I used to be angry when I left a place because I did not want to feel the painful sadness. If I was angry I would have a reason to leave somewhere. But not now. Slowly and tenderly I will detach from the farm and its people and its animals. They will have a place in my heart always.

New adventures lie ahead. New people and pictures and smells. But they are not welcome yet, because I have to deal with this little grief that is behind the leaving. A week remains. As August ends, I am not the same person. I have lived with horses, something I have never done before in my life. I saw their beauty in the lines of their bodies. I hugged them and kissed them. I saw them being born. I felt the same air that goes through their manes and tales. I was sleeping under the same starry sky as they did. I saw them running and fighting and playing. I learned a lot about them. Maybe sometime in the future I might understand why I was here in the summer of 2010. But I will never forget.

Italy

I keep meeting wonderful people from Italy.

Italy in the fall. Is it my next destination? It will be a chance to practice my italian, taste some nice food and wine. And live in nature.

Take it slowly. Step by step...

Meanwhile, I will introduce Victor, the horse who loves to play with his water bucket. He drinks as much as he needs to and then takes the bucket and spills the rest of the water on him. He is obviously bored ties up with a rope. But there is lack of space in the farm and he cannot be in a field on his own... So everytime I give him a bucket of water I stand and see him do his bucket dance! A wonderful, young, strong stallion...

Change

In Athens again. Woke up in the morning, fed, watered and mucked out the fields. It's very hot and I'm travelling towards Athens. In the afternoon I am on a boat to Evia. I'm looking towards the horizon. Am I gonna see any dolphins this time? No.

In the night I am walking the streets of Athens. I almost cannot breathe from the heat and the city seems strange. Big buildings, dirty streets, homeless people, tourists who must be suffering from the heat. Athens in the heart of August. It's a strange feeling being here at this time of the year. Rarely I find myself in the city on the 15th of August. It seems that most people that live here have gone away. Traffic is low.

Complete change of scenery in 24 hours. From a remote plane land to a heavily built city. From walking on earth to walking on asphalt. From no stores at all to stores everywhere. I kind of like it. My last twenty four hours have been very interesting...

Stachti (Ash) the Cat

I feel I ought to dedicate a post to Stachti, one of the ten cats of the farm. She was a rescue cat who had really bad lung problems. She spent last winter on Amanda and Stathis's bed and she was often sleeping near the fireplace. That's where she got the name Stachti - it means Ash in Greek.

She is happy and healthy now and she has THE strangest sleeping habits... She will sleep anywhere! In buckets, in the stable, among plastic bags... Anywhere! She makes me laugh everytime I see her sleeping! And she is vitually fearless! she will play with the dogs in a way like she is telling them "You think you can mess with me?"

I love you Stachti, I'll miss you when I leave the farm!

Now that I think of it, I have said to myself that I will leave on the end of August. I don't really want to leave, but I have the feeling that I have to move on. Although I am having a really nice time here, I have to continue travelling to other places. Let's see where life will lead me next...

Here I am

Thursday 12 August 2010

It is the hottest summer I remember. And it’s my own different summer. This year I am not doing what I always used to do. I used to wait for August, pick an island and go free camping for twenty to thirty days and spend them swimming and relaxing next to the sea. This year I decided to start my summer much much earlier so I started travelling on the 5^th of June.

Althought it was not exactly a vacation – I have been working with the horses in both farms – it feels like a vacation because I have been away from my routine for two months now. I’m getting tired now. I need at least a week next to the sea. I will try and spend the first days of September next to a beautiful beach and not think about anything.

My skin is brown and my hands are forming calusses. It only took two months of farm work.

Volunteering can give you a sence of freedom. You can leave a place and find another one. You can use your imagination and decide what you want to see and experience. There are always places that need volunteers all over the world. I dream of Africa, USA,Australia, Mongolia, Thailand, India… Places and people and experiences…

Monday 9 August 2010

Writing is not an easy bussiness. Everyday I am presented with an empty blog post in my head. Something which is interesting and funny. Like Glyka. The horse who loves to get out of any fence. Two nights in a row she got out. Today we moved her and her daughter Kaya into Marika’s field. We hope she stays there.

And the August heat is unbearable. It’s like frying my brain! I want to sleep a lot and stand still. I guess it’s a trial for me to get a taste of Africa. I have to understand that Afrika is as hot – or maybe even hotter - as Greece in the summer. I’d love to go to Africa this winter.

I am already thinking of my next step. If any of you reading have any suggestions, I’ll be glad to listen.

Thursday 5 August 2010

The place I'm staying at is really remote. That means it's really quiet and I have really calmed down since I left Athens two months ago. The pace is slower and I keep going on an on about this lanscape, the fact that you see so much of the sky in the daytime and the night time. We are located in a big farm land. There is the occasinal fig tree and we have eaten the first delicious figs for this year... But on the whole it is a calm landscape with fields and livestock. For the first time in my life I saw a cow up close. She came up to me to have a better look. She was HUGE!

Just now, before I went to bed, I was privileged with the company of a little field mouse in my room. And of course our hedgehog, eating the cat's food all the time....

Life is really out there. Living. All beings, in the company of a human or not, are living their lives. Until they die. They have none of the human worries yet they are always provided with what they need. And so are we. We are provided with what we need when we need to.

I have food and shelter and I can cuddle the horses as much as I want. Each horse is an individual. Some like cuddling more than others. Even foals do not behave the same. I like this kind of friendship. It gives me happiness. Amanda and Stathis are so brave to be out here 365 days per year, mucking and feeding and watering and caring and worrying - about money and the well being of their beloved horses. It takes a lot of courage to do what they do. I am here long enough to know that.

Sad

Tuesday 2 August 2010

A traveller can hurt some people. The people who are left back. I'm feeling sad today because I realise that being a traveller I will leave behind people I love. And they love me. But who's responsibility is it after all? All feelings belong to a person and it is his or her responsibility to use them.

It is extremely important for my soul to keep moving from place to place. It is what I always dreamed of. This can damage some relationships. On the other hand it might do them good.

I am sorry but I have to move. I have made a decision. To travel. If losing friends and relationships is the price I have to pay then be it.