last year - now

 Time is an illusion. However, we tend to review every passing year. Where were we? What was going on this time last year?

Last year.
2011 going to 2012.
In the hospital. A dying boyfriend. New year presents in the hospital. Trying to keep hope alive. Trying to make a dying soul happy. Trying to understand our own mortality.

Then February came and his death came.

What was I going to do? How was I going to live? Was I going to live the life I always wanted? I changed everything. Moved to a new town, a new house. My family was close. Old friends where deep inside my heart. New friends were just around the corner. Elina emerged. Started living again.

This years' christmas celebrations were intense. I said yes to every invitation, I would stay out all night. No alcohol, just drinking the moments. Drinking life. Being happy in a dull moment, as well as, a sparkling moment. I sang and danced and had a good time. Defying mortality.

Enjoying nature. Enjoying the river. Enjoying the sunny crisp cold weather.

Breathing.

In less than a week my hectic schedule will start again. And I'm greatful. I'll start teaching more kids and hopefully more adults. Theatre classes will beging again.

And a gift to myself. A driver's licence. I never allowed myself to drive anything else but a bicycle. I was always expecting someone else to drive. Someone else to lead the way. But now I dream of having my own car. Get into it, get Freeda inside and off we go. Anywhere.

Have a good day and happy new year!