The monster and the flame

I have a monster.

My monster says I'm not worth anything.
My monster says I am useless, no good and all these nice things about me.
For the past year or so, I have been feeding this monster.
It is now really fat, ugly and scary.

This is why I haven't been writing. Last year I was so proud of this blog, so proud of my travels, so proud of everything. Feeding the monster has kept me so busy, I only write once a month now.

I have to thank my teacher Kanta for showing me my monster.

Yes, in theory, I am very spiritual, very balanced, very brave, very...

In practice, I am just feeding my monster.

About a week ago, when I learned about my monster, I realized I also have a flame. It is now the size of a candle flame. It is the flame of my real self. And I am learning again how to feed the flame instead of the monster.

Writing this moment I am feeding the flame instead of the monster.