The flame is burning the monster

Last November I wrote a post "the monster and the flame".

I had just seen my monster, realized it's there.
Eight months later, the flame is stronger than the monster.
Back then, Kanta, my teacher, told me it is not going to kill me.
If it could kill me it would have already done that.

These days my monster is really small, like a kitten. It is still there, but I'm not feeding it with my fear. Everything is going to be ok.

My flame has grown, it's about the size of a fire burning inside a fireplace. (Ιt's really hard talking about fireplaces in the middle of a burning hot summer day...)

Being alone, outside a relationship, helps me create a relationship with myself. My old patterns (the monster) are yelling and screaming and trying to drag me to the shelter of a man's heart. But this would mean going back to the old, trying to be "saved" by a male. I am in the process of healing. Unless I heal this pattern, I will only fall to the same old story.

Instead, I close my ears to the yelling and screaming monster, only to find myself creating on many levels....

Lets see...
I still write over here
I sew and photograph and publish over there: travellerlina's artifacts
I still take pictures on my walks.
I am in the process of creating a theater-education-for kids group in the winter with the collaboration of my sister.
I am in the process of helping a like-minded friend I just met. We are planning to create a monthly street-fair in a pedestrian street of this town, selling  hand made artifacts.
I am traslating part of this book from greek to english. It is a book written by a fellow traveller, whom I haven't met yet, but I'm sure we have a lot in common.

Are you tired yet???
There are even more plans and projects in my head, although they have not manifested yet.

I am even going abroad for some days in July, but I'll keep that as a surprise.

Now that I think of it, the flame might not be just a fireplace flame.... It's even bigger!

Thanks for reading, thanks for supporting me.  Thanks for believeing in me.... Now I think I believe in myself more than I used to....

Have a great summer day...

Ode to my sister

 Summer days are passing really quickly.

I am sewing as much as I can. I am photographing the artifacts to post them on the website.

I am trasnlating.

I helped my siter with her theater play in the school she teaches. It was an overwhelming experience. I realised how much I love children and how much I love my sister. The day before the play and the actual day of the performance we were both there. The temperature was reaching 40 degrees, but we were exhited to be working with the kids who proved to be really talented. The play was a kind of musical, a lot of popular songs changed to match the story, funny, educational, written by my sister and her husband.

She was alone in this all year long, I don't think anybody believed in her and a very few people helped her. In the end, everyone was amazed by the perfection of the outcome. She woked really hard, she believed in her project and her students and - despite the difficulties, the outcome was perfect.

I watched as she remained calm before and during the play, silently encouraging her students behind the scenes. It was really amazing. She's a great teacher because she is not an authority figure giving orders. She is on the same level as the kids, an equal, always putting herself in their position to feel what they need. her inner child is nurished so she is a child herself. I do hope the system will not discourage her and she will remain brilliant!

Next year we are thinking of repeating this same play, out of school with different kids... This time I'll be next to her, maybe teaching the kids as well!

My first exhibition...

the winner

One of my photos was exhibited!

Such joy for me! It was an unexpected gift...

I'll take things from the start. The city would be celebrating a week for the environment and the municipality held a competition for its citizens. The best photographs would be exhibited...

As you know, these days, I'm wondering around the city with Freeda, walking around and taking photographs. I decided to send six to the competition. I have hundreds of photographs and choosing some was difficult for me.

the winner exhibited

An e-mail came to my inbox, saying One of my pictures had won participation to the exhibition! I was filled with pride and joy!

All these years, I had been behind the scenes - the curator - organizing exhibitions for others. This was a first time I WAS  THE ARTIST! I was the only one who had sent a photo of the road for bicycles... I am thinking its a hommage for all the years I had been a cyclist in Athens...

This is really a big step for me. Stepping outside my comfort zone. Stepping into the unknown.

Out of the six photos I sent, I was wishing another one would get picked. It was a close up of two plants I frequently encounter in my walks. The lady said it was too advanced for the public... I don't know what that means, but I don't have any hard feelings. Besides, I can always exhibit it here, in my own blog, which I love!

my winner

There seems to be a lot going on these days, and I don't have enough hours to work on all the projects I have in my mind. Lets see if I can write the projects down!

I am translating part of a travelling book, from greek to english. Another first timer. It's not easy, but I am enjoying it. I'll write more on this when it is time.

I am helping with the setting up of a street party for the citys' open studios. Yesterday, just before the opening of the photography exhibition, my hands were covered in glue! I had so much fun and the colours were just invigorating!

I realised I am giving a chance to the artist that lives inside me. I have been unconsiously working on this for many years. I am giving the child inside me the chance to play. Play with colours, play with fabrics,, play with the camera. And it all gives me fruits. Fruits of happiness. I have been sad and unhappy for a long time. And now, I look back to the memory.

I used to be angry at Antonis for not paying enough attention to his art. But he was only my mirror. That is what he kept saying to me. "Don't look at me, look at your own suppressed artist." "Don't be angry at me, be angry at yourself, for not doing what you want to do." Such a teacher....

Now I am alone.
I have noone to blame.
I can only see myself.
I cannot save anyone.
I can only save myself.

Being alone is a gift I appreciate.
I just hope I wont mess it up.
I hope I can stay outside the box.
Where all the magic is....

Three wonderful pictures in one day!

  Today, the walk with Freeda gifted me with three great shots.

The flying bug looks like a dragonfly. And it stood there for me to capture him! Thank you little bug for making my walk so special!

And then it was this amazing green creature... So many legs, so much beauty! It was walking around the tree and it will possibly grow to be a butterfly... These days there are a lot of butterflies in the forest, but they are too quick to photograph...

And last but not least, a beautiful, shining, spider-web...  I could not help but research the spider. This is what I found in one of my favorite websites... http://www.shamanicjourney.com/


"Spider weaves her web, we weave our realities. Spider reminds us that we create many of the situations in our lives. Spiders have the extraordinary capability of creating, weaving and spinning their own webs. This ability shows and teaches us the gift of creation. We have the power to create what happens in our lives - to us and to others. But we must realise this. The choices we make coupled with our attitude - very powerful stuff. "


Whenever I walk in the forest, I take good notice of the Animals or Birds that come my way. I think they might have a message for me. Once, I saw an owl. Another time I saw a crow. I came home and researched the shamanic meaning of these creatures...

Forests...

 Travelling contiues.

Yesterday I visited a plane tree forest next to the river called Sperchios.

Three hours of walking among the trees, bedazzled by the colours, the sounds and the exotic flowers, which grew beneath the trees.

Freeda was running around, chasing the birds and the lizzards, she was so happy to be there. And so was I.

Breething deeply the fragrances of the wet ground; these days heavy spring rains keep the soil wet.

This walking trip was organized by a group of people who love to walk in nature, to uncover the secret passages into the forests. Once every two weeks, they call out for people to join them. We were at least 45 people walking.

And one dog! I was a bit nervous about her, intergrating with strangers, but she did fine! She swam into the river, drunk water from every mud puddle... she was kind to the kids and adults who where walking with us. Everybody loved her!

Until the last bit of the road when she found a dead goat and rolled happily on it... She was stinking! A few years back I googled this hiddeous dog habit and found out it's all about their hunting instinct. They have to have this awful smell, to get as close to their pray as they can. It was bathing time, when we got back! She hates it... At least now, her coat is shining and she smells of shampoo!




Another trip we took last Sunday, was on the mountain called Oiti (pronounced ee-tee). Near the village called Pavliani. It certainly looks like the Alps up there. Spruce forests and clean cut mountain tops, the ones I love to see, dream of and photograph. Wild horses, green grass... My father knows my love for mountains and is really happy he can show me around the places he has been. He needs to convince me this is a blessed place. But I don't need to be convinced. I already know that, around my home town, there are so many breath-taking spots...

I can still smell the spruces. I can still feel the new needle-like leaves. I can still see the small villages with their red roof tops.

My next project is to learn how to drive. I need a car of my own, to take Freeda and explore the mountains near by. Experience freedom. For so many years I have been dependent on other people to show me around with their cars. The time has come to take the wheel on my own hands!

PS. I am so consumed by sewing and trying to find a way to display my artifacts... and my primary blog - the one about travelling - is left behind. Yet, I feel much love in everything I do. I made a promise. The money from the items I sell, will go in a piggy bank for the travelling. My first 10 euros have already gone there. Hurray!

My secret place in the forest

 First of all, I am amazed that travellerlina's artifacts reached 500 hits in just 10 days! It's really incredible! It means people are drawn to what I make and want to see it up close! I just hope to start selling them, so I can make more... My sister told me she gave up her cigarettes and shifted to tobbaco just to have one of my pouches, ha ha ha! She's going to be my perfect advertiser!

Another subect I wanted to touch on, I found a sectret place on a mountain that nobody knows except a couple of stray dogs. Every moring, I take my dog on a walk. We walk in a forest consisting of pines, cypresses and prickly pears. The path is barely visible and I have to jump across a tiny gorge. When it rains it is full of water, but these days it's usually dry. It used to make me nervous, but now I go across much easier.

And then it's more pines and more prickly pears.

And then there is a meadow! I can  sit on the grass and watch the big mountains that my town is overlooking... The names of the mountains are Iti, Pasrnassus and Kallidromo. I find peace in this meadow. I can express my gratitude for everything I have, for everything I experience... I listen to the birds and feel the energy. Two times I saw a large owl flying really close to me!

The only thing that worries me is the snakes that might live there... A snake bite might be lethal to the dog... Everytime I get into the forest I ask the snakes to let us walk without disturbing us! I just hope they listen!

Creativity

There are times when you can't lift one leg and place it in front of the other. There are times you gladly run around! This is me at the moment

My sister came around yesterday and she became my model. Together we did a nice job photographing all the small and big bags. It's really nice to spend time with her!

My sewing machine is on fire. My house is a mess. Creativity.

I have already sold my first two bracelets... One was an exhcange for a book my friend just published.

I am really glad things are going well. I feel blessed...

busy busy busy

 Right. I now have to manage 3 blogs... Keeps me busy...

Let's see what's new.

My old-new friends keep inviting me to dance and have a good time. In one month I have seen 2 live gigs. I knew these bands when I lived in Athens, but I never saw them live.

My sister also helps me socialise in other areas, she is putting up a theatrical play with her students and I'll help her wherever I can. She will also be my model for photographing all the bags I have yet to publish in my new blog. I can't wait!

And last but not least, my mum and dad. They both try to listen and they offer tremendous support and loving.

It seems moving was a right choice. It seems life has changed. It seems brighter and brighter.

So let the light shine on...

blog birthday

I missed it last year, but I will not miss it now... Two years ago, on the 10th of May, I wrote my first post.

Nobody knew me back then, (almost) no one read what I had to say...

But I knew I had to do it. I had to write. I still feel the need to write, even when I'm not travelling. Writing has become a kind of psychotherapy. I think most bloggers would agree on that...

This blog became famous when I decided to go around the world. I would start from Italy and go on travelling to the farms of the world. When a friend wrote an article on me and my story in a famous website, my blog got 3.500 hits in one day! I was overwhelmed! The comments were good and bad, but I didn't care. I was going on the trip of a life time!

I have now 59 followers and many more who are not followers. They honour me with their comments and the mere fact they are still reading.

The trip around the world was temporarily cancelled. I came back because I needed my man. The security of a home... And my man got sick and died.

But I have to move on. Keep on living. Keep on creating. Keep on dreaming of going around the world.

In the safety of my family, I am planning the future.

Instead of introducing a TV in my new home, I took out my sewing mashine and put it where I could not miss it. For days it was looking at me. Inviting me. So I started again.

I fixed my duvet cover. I made a cover for a little table. I ended up making 3 bags because I did not like the bags offered in the stores. Yesterday I made a pouch for my tobacco. Sewing is back in my life. A burst of creativity.

And then it struck me. Show it to the world! Make a new blog with these artifacts! And I did! I now have to photograph everything. Practice my photography on another subject! I'm so exhited and I can't hide it!

I like the exclamation mark. It's become part of who I am.

My new blog!

In the midst of creativity, I decided to make one more blog, dedicated to the things I make. It is called travellerlina's artifacts (click to go there) and it is yet to be filled with my creations! Enjoy...