Κυριακή, 12 Φεβρουαρίου 2012
Thoughts from the sea side, the South of Athens
At the same time a friend calls me. She sensed I'm not felling well. "Can me and my dog stay with you for some days?" Yes. She picked me up yesterday.
It's been 6 months since the cancer diagnosis. Waves of love, anger, hatred, agony, pain, stress, saddness.
It's my time to leave. To take some time off. It's been 2 months since I left the house. It's essential. I don't care about ethics. Is it ethical to leave myself to take care of someone? No. This is about me. Taking time off. Every job needs time off.
I'm writing now from a beautiful house near the sea. It's raining. It's warm inside. It's quiet. I don't have to do anything. I just have to write on my blog.
I had a wonderful conversation with my two best friends earlier. The were mirroring my two sides. My one side which says "leave him, set him free to heal" and the other side which says "stay with him, he is not capable of doing anything right now". It's nice to have friends to talk to. Things become clearer.
One of the things that became clearer was that I have dived in my misery and I refuse to get out. I see all things black. So I made a decision, here in the blog, to list all the things I am greatful about.
I am blessed with friends who provide me with a shelter when I need to.
I am blessed with a beautiful dog who accompanies me and loves me unconditionally and makes me go on wonderful walks in nature.
I am blessed with this wonderful laptop which comes with me everywhere I go and I can write my blog and upload my pictures.
I am blessed with a loving family who, despite of all the arguments, they are here and they support me.
This is all I can think of right now.
I'll take my time off and hope he will be ok on his own with the help of his family and his friends. I will enjoy myself and go back when I feel ready to do so.
Enough with the crying. Time to smile. Cancer patients need a smile. And hugs. A lot of hugs. And patience. When I regain all these assets, I will go back.
Have a good day.