Here I am, in my hometown.
I came and faced what
I thought was a monster. And it was not a monster after all. Our mind plays funny games. It makes a little fear become a nightmare. All you have to do is face that little fear before it becomes a nightmare.
Yes, my parents are really concerned about me. They have supported me all these years and they feel tired by their child who is not responsible yet and behaves like a teenager. They are giving me a deadline. A deadline to stand on my own two feet. They are right.
I have to stand on my own two feet. But I need some support still. My travelling project is just a baby right now. It needs caring before it sets off. That's what I will do.
I do not have all the answers on how my project will evolve. But
I know that this is the first time I do something that comes from my real self. I know that I'm here on my blog every day (well, almost), writing about my joys and my struggles. Which means
I am commited.
I love them and they love me. They have a certain way of loving. And I guess I have a certain way of loving them too. I will not see them for a long time. So I might as well spend some time with my parents and sister. And then we can talk from a distance. They are quite used to it, because I was never too close. I left when
I was 17 and never came back to live with them. All these years
I was trying to make peace with them and myself. We have reached a certain point. Things are calm when I'm clear about what I want. What upsets them is me, not knowing where I stand. They get confused.
Yes, they are conserned. But my case is clear. And they are calm, although they don't really understand.
And that's my own, unique family...
You are so right my dear Elina, our parents love us and they only fear what they cannot understand. It's up to us to build a bridge and come closer with them. This bridge is a main task in every human's karma.
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