Κυριακή, 29 Ιανουαρίου 2012
This is dedicated to my first therapist
Years ago, when I was in group therapy, It was my time to finish therapy with this group. As the day I would stop attending the group was coming closer, I became very angry with the group. Every session was wrapped around my anger. And my therapist knew. And she helped me see it. Being angry was an easy way to separate myself from the group I loved so much. If I got really angry wiith them, I would have a reason to go away from them.
When I realised that, the anger went away. I went to my last group feeling greatful for all the wonderful moments, rather than furious that I had to leave them. And the group is still in my heart. And the group is still present in my heart, helping me make the changes I need to make.
Do I have to be angry with him to say goodbye? This is my old way of coping with separation. Anger.
It has now gone away. I am able to hug him again. He has become a weak little child in pain. And it's my choise to be here to give him a hand. To let him pass away quietly when he feels it's time to pass away. It's still very painful, but I'll leave the grief for later. He is now here and I better live the moments with him.
These are very intense moments.
Have a good day.