Christmas thoughts

The way we were

Every little choice develops a lifetime.

All my little choices have brought me-us here.

I'm not angry anymore. I'm just compassionate about myself and the situation.

It's Christmas and Antonis is slowly fading. His body betrays him. Every little step he makes is a victory. Literaly. He can't walk very well. He is in pain most of the time. Every bite he takes withought vomiting is a victory. Every hour he sleeps is a victory. He is too scared to sleep.

I just want him to be decent. I want him to be clean, dry and warm. Like a small child. The man has become a child. A child in pain. And it's Christmas. The house is full of twingling lights and christmas decoration. He deserves Christmas. Is this his last Christmas? No, don't think about that please! He is here now. Surrounded by love and compassion.

It's Christmas time kid! Don't cry. Everything is goin to be all right. Give me a big hug and all the pain will disappear.

My body aches too. From doing so much for him. My heart aches. Why did we bring ourselves to this? Is there a bigger picture we can't see?

I do sincerely hope there is a bigger picture I can't see. I do hope there is a purpose.

Have a merry, loving, supportive, delightful christmas.

Creativity will save the day

My week off has finished and it was really great.

We are well into december now and the streets are filled with christmas lights... And so is my house.

I am calmer and he is too. But he is also very weak. Very needy, Like a child. And I'm more patient with my patient - It rhymes! Like a friend said, I am love.

Because I took time off, someone invited me to sing in a group. A soul-funk group! Wow! I hadn't sang for at least 2 years! The first rehearsal went good, really good, with me improvising and feeling stressed...

These guys are such great musicians! Being a singer in band since I was an adolescent, I was always screaming to get my voice heard over everyone's egoistic playing. Quitarists, drummers, everyone was always playing too strong. This was the first time that the microphone was loud enough for me to listen to my real voice without screaming! This was the first time the band was stopping to hear my needs and help me with the parts! This was the first time I felt really relaxed. And - most imporantly - this was the first time a fellow player was brave enough to tell me my voice is exceptional.

It shows how I've changed. How I tell myself I'm great. This was a mirror. I need to work really hard if I want to be a lead singer, but I do love singing.

I did not believe in myself so I was in bands that always proved my not believing in myself.

I'm ready for a new start and this creative activity is going to help me go through all the rest that is going on in my life...

Have a good day.

From a distance

So last night I left the house. I took the dog and a suitcase and left. I'm sleeping at my best friend's house. Back in my old neighborhood.

Not even 24 hours away and I'm already feeling better.

No, I did not abandon him. I'm still going to go back. But it feels good to be away. To hear my friends talk about their new boyfriends and their parents and their problems and their schedules. It's good to listen to something different than radiation, chemotherapy, hospitals and drugs and special diets.

Thanks for all the support and comments...

Too much

 I'm dreaming. Dreaming about getting in a bus. A plane. A boat.

As soon as I dare dream of it, my man needs to get in the hospital, he needs to be taken cared of, he needs so much! And I can't do it anymore!

This relationship is fucked. Fucked by all the broken dreams. His broken dreams and my broken dreams.

One day he needs me and then when he is stronger again he becomes so arrogant and full of shit.

How about me leaving the relationship now?

It is so hard to be everything. The nurse and the friend and the mother and the sister and the friend and the father and the super market goer and the cook and the nurse again... No time to go to an internet cafe to check my e-mails, no personal life!

Is this what our mothers did? Is this the reason they are so angry with everyone, their husbands and children?

"Don't worry, I'll take care of everything!"

And then they forget. They forget their talents and their dreams and their knowledge and everything. Just like me. Acting like a mother and not like ELINA.

Fuck. The flame is really really weak. And I'm scared it's going to blow off. I want to escape. I want to go away.

And I'm scared because there is one little thing I know from Jonah. There is no escape. There is only resolvement. If I escape, I will only go into a new - even worse - situation like this.

Fuck. Not even poverty was so hard last winter. All the monsters have come to haunt me.

This is hardcore.

And I'm not worth it.

I'm not worth sleepless, crying nights.

I'm worth light. I'm worth abundance. I'm worth good friends and a home and children and animals.

I'm worth love and forgiveness.

I might look in the mirror tonight and offer me a smile.

And promise myself I'll change the darkness.

The monster and the flame

I have a monster.

My monster says I'm not worth anything.
My monster says I am useless, no good and all these nice things about me.
For the past year or so, I have been feeding this monster.
It is now really fat, ugly and scary.

This is why I haven't been writing. Last year I was so proud of this blog, so proud of my travels, so proud of everything. Feeding the monster has kept me so busy, I only write once a month now.

I have to thank my teacher Kanta for showing me my monster.

Yes, in theory, I am very spiritual, very balanced, very brave, very...

In practice, I am just feeding my monster.

About a week ago, when I learned about my monster, I realized I also have a flame. It is now the size of a candle flame. It is the flame of my real self. And I am learning again how to feed the flame instead of the monster.

Writing this moment I am feeding the flame instead of the monster.

Let's talk about me... again!

 It is easy to lose yourself in a cancer situation.

It is very dangerous. You are not the one with the disease, but you might act like you are.

And this is (was) my perfect plan.

All my life I have been trained to lose myself in different situations whether it was a relationship or a job.

But the bullshit is over. I have made a promise. I will not lose myself again.

I do love him and I will stand by him.

But I will not lose myself this time.

I am a traveller. And I will solve this. One promise. A little bit of time everyday for myself.

This morning I was walking my dog. I was thinking I need to make a sanctuary in the house just for me. On the mountain I found an armchair. Not very dirty. Not very old. Just perfect. My man - who by the way is much stronger and much hype with all the medication - helped me bring it home. I cleaned it very very well and put my own colourful soft fabrics on it. A small table, a light and a notebook. I might even put my sewing machine on this table... One step at a time.

Thank god I asked for help from a psychologist...

And I have a plan. Not to bullshit myself anymore. No more lies.

When I left for Italy, I had left many holes. I did not have any money. It was the perfect trap for me to come back to what I know.

Another thing I know how to do very very well is not believe in myself. I always try to get acceptance from outside.

And these are only small parts of what I trully do in my life.

I am searching all the patterns and all the fucking core beliefs that got me here.

I WILL light my darkness. I WILL change. And he will be alright. And this blog is about ME. My wonderful, angry, weak, strong SELF. Don't forget that. From now on I'll be so fucking selfish, you will not believe it. I will not bring disease just to start living and enjoying my true self.

My man is my teacher. I love him. He became sick just to show us that when you suppress your true self, your true creativity, you will end up sick.

And I do not think he wants anything from me, but to be my own true self. That is unconditional loving.

Hope you all thrive, like my teacher Jonah says you should. Have a good day.

On cancer and the way he invades.

 

How do I put this in words?

Only one word. Cancer. My man has cancer. In his lungs and brain.

First time I heard it last Saturday. I cried. I was scared. I did not know. There was only one word in my mind. Cancer. Is he going to die? Is he going to live?

It all started after my last post. He became sick in the stomach and slowly became very weak and could not walk. His left arm was weak. He was rushed into an ambulance. And then in the boat. And then in another ambulance. Into the hospital.

I had to care of everything. Take care of luggage. Take care of the dog. And the bird. And the trip. An angel friend picked me up and took me, Freeda and the canary back home in the middle of the night. And then I rushed to the hospital.

The doctor called me. She said it's cancer. Who do I call?? What do I say? Why? Why us? Fuck you cancer!

Do I tell him? Of cource I do. He has the right to know. He is strong enough to know. Our friends know. And the miracles begun. In three days he gets up. Starts walking and laughing again.

He becomes his real wonderful self. He said he is going to fight it. Friends stand by us. My parents and my sister stand by us. They offer us all the love in the world. They offer us ways to heal it. They offer us true love and compassion. And laughter. That's what I need. Laughter. No stories about people who die. I need compassion. Understanding.

This story brought me very close to my own death. The things I have't done yet, the travels I postpone for later, the things that exhite me and I have an excuse not to do them yet.

It's been more than a week now. He is still in the hospital.

I am calmer. I don't cry anymore. Not every two minutes.

There are two options.

In the first one he gets over it. We have a great party. We live happily ever after.

In the second one we put up our best white clothes and we say goodbye dancing and laughing about the passing of his soul to another level. We will need a jazz-blues band for the goodbye party.

I would rather believe that this is the time for healing. For me and for everybody. It is time for me and for everyone to see what is important. Who is important. I believe in true joy. I am strong and he is strong. I have the feeling that either way we will stand up to this with true and unconditional loving.

Does unconditional loving mean let him go? Yes. I will try to let him go. If this is his decision.

But I do want to see more of his painting. I do want to see more of his art. I do want to see more of him. I'll stand by him whatever he decides. I do love him.

Have a good day.

On snails and other aphrodisiacs

Sifnos was home to a cook named Tselementes. He is quite famous and he even wrote a book on cooking. What I remember being hilarious in his book, is that in the preface he writes things like how a good wife should be, how she must prepare the family table, how she must be always ready for visitors etc. Which means things I don't ever do in my kitchen, and I don't think anybody does nowadays...

Anyway that was not why I started talking about Tselemendes. I started because yesterday, we went to a food festival in his memory. We tried some of the divine foods they make here in the Cyclades, not only in Sifnos, but all the islands. Xinomitzithra from Kimolos, a light, soft, spreadable cheese. Petroti from Tinos, a very hard cheese, thus the name (petra means rock). Every island has it's own cheese and I don't even remember their names...

And then I tried snails for the first time in my life! They make them in many places in Greece, but this time it was made by the guys of Kythnos. All they said was "suck it hard"! Ha ha ha ha! You suck until the -cooked- snail comes out of it's shell and to my taste it was not as discusting as I'd expect it to be! In fact, it was delicious and very aphrodisiac I must say... I think it was all the sucking... ha ha ha!

Last but not least the infamous chick peas of Sifnos, boiled for 8 hours with onions in a special ceramic pot, in a wooden oven... Simply heaven. Before we left the feast we were so full! These guys are very good cooks...

In the meantime, the weather is wonderful and very hot.

Poulati

Another day we visited Poulati, a rocky site where we almost drowned trying to swim between the rocks, it was very windy and dangerous. Fortunately we did not drown and we continued to the sandy beach of Fasolou and had a coffee at Faros...

It's funny, I've been here three months and I only just started discovering the beaches I only heard about... I think I am blessed to be able to swim in the sea at this time of the year...

And thanks to all of you who commented on my last post, you inspire me to continue writing and travelling!

Vacation in September... for the first time

Speaking with my sister, she said I haven't written much lately. I told her I don't want to write about my every day life. And she said, that was what I was doing all this time!

It's amazing, when I started the blog, I was all exhited about writing. And now I don't want to write because I think my writing is not important... And then someone is complaining because I don't write as much... I feel grateful for the comment and here I am, writing again!

Well, the past few weeks I was babysittning this wonderful 4 year old in the afternoons.

And now, I am on vacation. I think I feel a little guilty to be on vacation when everybody else is back in Athens working really hard, if they are working at all... And then I have to remind myself that I did work really long hours (12 hours per day) throughout June, July and August and I do deserve a bit of vacation!

So, today, I woke up with my beloved man - whom I did not see at all when we were both working - and we went fishing! He made a fishing rod from bamboo and fishing line and another fishing line for octopus! of course we didn't catch anything, but it was fun, going up and down the big rocks barefoot! Even Freeda had a nice time, I left her off her lead, she climbed a big mountain looking for goats! She came back with her tongue hanging out of her mouth and a big smile on her face!

September weather is really kind for us and we have a couple of weeks to enjoy the island...


Have a nice day...

The end of the summer

And then, the automn comes.

The days are shorter.
The air is colder.
Sweet September will be here in three days.
You can feel it in the air. 

Back in June it was the same. It was cold and cloudy. But you had a whole summer to look forward to. Now the summer is coming to a close. And you contemplate your summer. The things you allowed to happen. The beautiful images the island gave you. The hot days. The burning sun.

Every summer I look at the sea and think: I will take this image with me to warm me up in the winter. I try to be in the moment, so that it stays with me for the rest of the year. Until the summer comes and another beach comes in front of my eyes.

Light and love

I can't believe it's almost three months we are in Sifnos... When we came, the island was empty, only a few tourists and the camping was empty. Then July came and it became busy. Then August came and the crowds kept coming...

Some really wonderful people came my way. That's what I like about changing places. You make friends, you talk about different things and experiences... 

Even with all these ups and downs with work, life was so interesting here... All these children I met were so giving and wonderful... It's a miracle to see a child smile and laugh and eat and play! It's a miracle when a child uses imagination to make a new game or tell a new story...

These children opened a new door for me. I already knew I was talented at connecting with them, but they clearly showed me I'm good. Is life going to take me further into dealing with children?

Let's see. All options are open and welcome. Life is a true miracle...

There is somehting childish about this summer...

 So I spent five relaxing days in Kamares, Sifnos. Swimming in the sea, sleeping a little bit longer, talking with friends....

Yesterday morning I found another job. I'm going to babysit a 4 year old. The mother of this child knew me because her 4 year old was playing every day with my 7 year old. So she asked me to baby sit him in the afternoons when she is very busy.

I felt my work as a child sitter was appreciated. It felt great. It felt like it was worth quitting my other job.

Now my mornings are free and my afternoons are full of child energy again. And, this time I can take Freeda with me. It's so wonderful...

And another thing. This 4 year old grows up the way I would like to grow MY child up. He is bare foot all day, in the sea all day, free to enjoy nature and play. He eats if he is hungry, he sleeps if he is tired. He is free to fall and there is a big hug for him by both his parents if he falls.

Have a nice day!

The end of anger.

That's it. I quit. Yesterday. I can take my dog and go for a coffee. I can go to the beach. I can stay in bed all day.

Yes, the whole situation was mirroring my inner feelings. The way I treated myself. The way I was abusing myself. For what? For the money? Stop. Stop abusing yourself honey. There is no point. Forgive yourelf for all you think you have done wrong. Please forgive yourself. There is nothing wrong with your decisions. They are only decisions and you can always change your decisions.

I look around me. The mountains are still the same. The sea is still there.

Why the drama? Why the tears?

No more tears please. I am on a beautiful island and I have money in my pocket. I'll take my time to relax and maybe travel a bit around the island. If I find another job, it will be wonderful. If I don't it will still be wonderful.

Have a nice day.

Thinking of change

It's been a month now and I still haven't commented on my bosses nature.

He acts a lot like my dad. Big ego, very negative, very judgemental... I thought my days with these kinds of bosses were over, but here I am, working with a personality I cannot handle.

Whatever I do, I'm never good enough, I am making a lot of mistakes and I don't care about my job, I don't care about him or his kid... Deep inside I knew what he was like when I first met him in Athens. I realised I was not mistaken when I first came here. Being in such a nice scenery I decided not to care about it. I know who I am and what can I do. And I always do my best. Then he asked me to take care of his kid. And I did it gladly. Me and the kid, we became very good friends. I tried to reach his heart. I tried to listen to him. And we got along really well.


Until he got sick with diarrhea. And I stood beside him. I stayed up all night to take care of him. I told him it would be over soon. I did my best with this lonely, broken child....


And I was to blame for the sickness. I was to blame for lack of clean manners. I am washing both the daddy's clothes and the son's clothes by hand everyday and I'm lazy. I'm just having a good time.

So here is the question. Will I expect to be accepted by someone who never will? No. Thank you very much.


I am flerting with the idea to change jobs. Change from a fancy store to cleaning rooms or something. Will I do it? I don't know yet. I'll see. It's only one month to go. August.


I haven't made the final decision yet.


For now, I will enjoy my last 8 days with the kid. And then I will decide.

PS Blogger is being funny and will not let me upload any pics...

On kids

What do you do when a child pushes your limits?

Do you get angry? Do you yell at him? Do you have the patience to explain yourself?

All these questions are in my mind lately. Children can be very cooperative and fun, but children can also be a pain in the ass. Sorry about my lack of other words...

Sometimes my good energy seems to work with children. Little Rosa, from Belgium, was in a very bad mood. She was very sad that she would leave behind me and Freeda and the camping. She made me cry when she gave me a giggle when I kissed her belly... She was so sweet!

On the other hand, the child I care for these days is much older and very angry because of a bad divorce. He sometimes takes it out on me. The nanny. Sometimes I am calm and I respect his emotions. But sometimes I lose my patience and scream at him. Is this the way I am treating my inner child? My angry, unexpressed  inner child? Maybe.

It is very interesting when one interacts with kids. They have a whole different perspective about the world.

Kids are not easy. You have to think about every word you say. Every move you make. Because they will copy you in no time. They will show you what you don't like in yourself. And they will show you what you love about yourself...

Easy living

Kamares by night

Hot, hot, hot weather...

One yellow butterfly on the beach...
Yellow, glittering sand on my feet...
Children playing around me...

I will not let my mind blow it all away. I am enjoying every moment on this island. It's a blessing. i could not even imagine that this summer I would live something so intense.

I will stay with the child until the 10th of August. A whole month of child sitting. Games on the beach.

What more can one ask for! I will never forget this summer!

Mind games

Sometimes I do wonder. How can one person be in the most beautiful place, have work - and subsequently money -  have a lovely man, swim everyday and still be miserable?

I do wonder. My mind plays games. In my head I worry, in my mind I fight, in my mind I feel terrible. I look at the sea and I do not enjoy now. It is just stupid. It is just the way I am.

All day yesterday I was feeling terrible. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I could not stop it. I WOULD not stop it. I was watching myself from a distance feeling terrible. I was worrying for things that are not mine, I was feeling like I had lost myself in a wave of anger and fear. The hours went by, I was losing a beautiful, playful day. The afternoon came and I was watching my child - the child I'm looking after - and his friends play in the sea. They were standing right where the sunset was making it's golden road.

And I took some deep breaths. Here. Now. The children are playing. They are happy. Here. Now. I'm happy watching them. Here. Now. The moon is getting bigger. My reality is beautiful. Stop fighting in your mind. Please. You are safe. You can be happy. You deserve this beauty.

The children got out of the sea. They had a nice shower. We had a nice evening. The sun set for one more time, the wind was blowing like every other day and the moon got out eventually. It did not matter anymore. Nothing mattered.

This wave of misery was over. I told him a bedtime story and we went to sleep. It's summer. He is on holiday. He is happy. Me and little Elina are happy too.

Have a nice day...

Children

I was getting tired of this hectic schedule. I was asking for help.

And the answer came through my bosses child. Now I'm baby sitting. This seven-year-old came into my life. I'm taking him to the beach. I'm making up stories for him to go to sleep.

I do prefer this child energy in my life. No more Sifnos vanity.

I'll tell you more as the days go by...

Watching my life from a distance

 It is very strange to work on an island. It is a serene and beautiful place, yet I have to get up at 8.00, have coffee and breakfast and run to work by 10.15. The moped has saved my life, because it takes me to the next village in 10 minutes. Then work by 2.30 and back home for: swimming, cooking, eating, resting, getiing ready for the night. In 3 hours I have to do all this and maybe skip the swimming part... Every afternoon I feel I have to catch a train that will leave without me... And then I have to be really well dressed and smiling, whatever the circumstances. Work starts again at 19.00 till 1.30 in the morning.

Believe it or not, it's a hectic schedule and you have little time to rest and be yourself.

On the other hand, Sifnos is a funny little place. Every night, the small street I work at, is full of people who are too overdressed, women who wear high heels and are having trouble walking the paved streets! Lots of tv celebrities I do not know because I don''t have a tv... I laugh a lot at this vanity that passes before my eyes... It is so far away from the tomboy I am and I do wonder why people have to behave like this...

Sifnos is a sociological wonder. In the midst of crisis, ladies are buying expencive clothes and gentelmen drive expensive cars. For the past years Sifnos has been a wedding island because of all these little churces by the sea... And a wedding in Greece is still a big, expensive thing to do!

I am thinking that I am here to experience the abundance of the sea and sun, to get out of the "crisis mentality" that some are trying to pass.

Sometimes I compare my summer in Skyros last year and I realise how happy I was, mucking the horse fields. The horses did not judje me from my clothes, they judged me from my soul. In fact they did not judge me at all. I was so happy hugging them and looking at them and I had so much to write about them... Same with the olive harvest in Italy... Now, I don't have anything meaningful to write...

I promise myself I will work hard here in Sifnos. I promise I will take the money and keep travelling in places that speak to my soul. I promise I will enjoy this strange and unfamiliar environment.

Have a nice day!

A quick little post

I have been meaning to write, but it's so busy here...

A lot of work, a lot of new friends and one new achevement. Yesterday I drove a moped for the first time in my life. Everybody tells me it is dangerous, but I am very very careful and I wear a helmet!

I'm so happy and it gives me a sense of independence. An independence I have been denying myself for so many years...

June has been very strange, with it's up's and downs, with work and play and getting to know my surroundings...

And now a new month is at it's beginning and I'm looking forward to it's blessings!

Have a good day

Divine food in Sifnos

What is the fisrt thing a traveller looks for in a new place? Sleep. We covered that part already.

What is the second thing a traveller looks for in a new place? Food!

Sifnos is one of these places that still makes is own traditional cheese. The cheese I tried first is called xi-no-mi-tzi-thra (try reading that out loud!). It is a soft sour and salty cheese that goes perfect in a tomato salad and anything else. It is made by goat and sheep milk. Unlike feta chese, it melts on the tomatos and mixes with the olive oil and whatever is in the salad! I do like dipping fresh bread in olive oil and xinomitzithra!

Another divine food that they make here in Sifnos is "mastelo". It is goat or lamb roasted in a wooden oven for hours and hours. The meat is soft like butter and is has a smokey flavor I have never tasted before... As for the portions they serve here they are more than enough! They are so big, that even Freeda had the chance to taste it!

And then there is pasteli. It is a traditional sweet made from sesame seeds and honey. It is soft and has a tiny bit of cinnamon... The best pasteli I had in my life! (back in Italy, Jim was making fun at me because everything he made was THE BEST I HAD ΙΝ ΜΥ LIFE ha ha ha, Jim, I hope you are reading this!)

There is still a lot to taste and see, but is is going to be a long summer, so I'm taking my time trying everything. My next mission, foodwise, is chickpeas in the wooden oven and more cheeses to go...

Most vegetables are local and eggs taste like real eggs! It's really different from Athens...

I do enjoy my work at the shop, because I am surrounded by beautiful objects I get to arrange as I wish... Very creative... I get to meet people from around the globe and be in the busiest street of Sifnos!

Today is the biggest day of the summer! Hope you enjoy the rest of it!

(BTW I do know that this post is full of exclamation marks, but I am in awe if what I see and taste...)

My first day off in Sifnos

photo by antonisartheart

It is quite strange. People come and go. We say "hello, what's your name" and then we say "goodbye". I am the one staying. It feels good and strange. In a land where everybody takes it easy, I have to have a schedule, go to work at a certain time, come back at a certain time and so on...

Of course I can't complain, I have a job I like and I am in a place I like. Today I do feel like a tourist, because I woke up late, had a long coffee having a distant thought about Athens and its general strike...

Sifnos... day two...

Michelangelo can't wait to get off the boat

It's 7.40 in the morning. I woke up in my tent with the sounds of birds, the wind and the sea. I made my coffee. I am drinking my coffee under a tree. It's a bit cloudy, but the temperature is high.

The first thing you see when the boat approaches Kamares, the port, is a big natural bay surroundeed by tall mountains. It's like the land is hugging the sea. You might think that ports are dirty and full of pollution, but this port's waters are crystal clear. Kamares has a clean, sandy beach...

I did swim yesterday and it seemed that the whole winter was instantly washed away.

It's suprisingly hot for June. The island is quiet this time of the year. It seems that most visitors are foreigners, ie not Greek. No offence, but they are better tourists than the greeks. Very polite, very quiet, very clean, very friendly with Freeda...

Freeda just took a sand bath

It took me a while to realise I'm in this beautiful place and not in Athens this time of the year.

So here I am. I work at this beautiful shop called "I touch", "aghizo" in greek. It's in Apollonia, the main village of Sifnos, 8 kilometers from where I'm staying. It's up on a mountain. You've got the typical white houses, the typical small streets and the typical smell of jasmine coming from the back yards...

Just beautiful...

The first day of the summer!

It's warm and beautiful here in Greece.

Today I booked my tickets for the island. My hopes are high for the summer. My summer will be de-light-ful.

Even Athens seems full of bright, colourful, beautiful people.

While I'm here at paprapera market, I have met and talked with many young artists. We are all vibrating positively, we all believe that change is in our hands. They have formed teams. They help each other. All for one and one for all.

There is power in a team.

Destination... parapera market! (just a week before I leave)

...but before I leave for Sifnos, I have another commitment.

I'm going to work for a week for these guys. Is is a kind of market. I haven't seen it yet, but it looks interesting.

It's really refreshing to be needed, to be appreciated as a team member in a work environment. It's really refreshing to know that some people still work, still create, still hope, in a country where everything seems lost.

I think that this country is going to be saved by creativity. New ideas and new spirits. Don't just sit in your couch and wait for doomsday. Get out. Talk with people. Share your ideas. Help your friends. Have a good day.

Destination... Sifnos!

I have been waitning to announce this big surprise till I was a hundred percent sure...

I've got a job in Sifnos. A small shop, with clothes,  jewllery and small objects is waiting for me.

In two weeks, on the 6th of June, we are packing our bags. My man and I, Freeda and Michelangelo, the canary are moving to Sifnos for three months. The cat is going to stay behind to watch the house.

Of course I have the usual butterflies, I worry about everything, I make disaster plans in my head most of the time, I think there is not enough time to prepare everything... the-usual-control-freak: me.

Of course everything is going to be fine, whether I worry or not...

Athens is going to kiss me goodbye with it's usual Jazz Festival, which starts today.

Back in the winter, when things were stressful, I kept my good spirits. I looked at what I have. I was greatful for what I had. I see this change as a result of the way I kept thinking.

Have a good day.

My projects, my dreams...

Let me talk to you about two projects I'm involved with and hope they take me where I need to be.

The first one is called Hopeland.
The webstite is in greek, but I hope there's going to be an english version too. It's Erato's dream, a land where children and adults will be taught to live near nature. A self-sustainable place where all beings will have a chance to heal in many ways.

The second one is Travel and Do.
A team of people who believe there is another kind of tourism, which respects nature and visitors.

All the people involved in these projects, are people of the heart. The have strong visions like me. They love and respect themselves. They want to make a change. They are commited to help others. I am proud to have met them. I am proud to be part of their dreams.

have a good day.

Did you miss me?

I'm sure you didn't. I was out of internet and out of inspiration.

On the 10th of May, this blog had it's first birthday. I did not even notice...

When I started, I thought I'm going to write every day and I will always have interesting and exhiting things to say! But life is not like a fairytale. At least not always.

The past year was full of exhitement, adventures, horses, dogs, cats and travelling...

This past winter was difficult, but now the summer is in my doorstep with lots of exhiting news. A new internet connection. A prospect to work on an island this summer.

To be continued...

A night in the Cairo airport...

unbelievable traffic

Flashback: May 2009

I have just spent three days in Cairo.
It's time to leave.
My flight back home leaves at two in the morning.
I'm waiting for my taxi to take me from the hotel to the airport.
The taxi comes and I get in.
Orange lights in cities are the same all over the world.
We are passing through the warm night and I am observing buildings, cars, the moon... The moon was hazy. Almost full.

We arrive at the airport. The taxi driver is very polite. He insists on carying my back pack but I insist more than him. I take my bag. He's probably a bit intimidated by this small but strong lady in front of him.

I pass the airport check and take my boarding pass. You can still smoke in Cairo airport.
I sit down and smoke and read my book.

It's almost time to go to the gate.
As I approach the gate, I realize I cant' find my boarding pass.
I empty my bag. It's nowhere. I go back to the places I passed. It's nowhere.
No boarding pass.

They call my name. "Passenger so and so is kindly requested to proceed to the gate so and so"

I go to the gate. I tell them I lost my boarding pass. They freak out. I freak out. I really hope they don't think I'm a terrorist or something....

A guy tells me we have to go back to the check in so I can get a new boarding pass. We run!

Airports are really big spaces. So we run. And we have to go through customs again. Only this time backwards. They are all speaking arabic and I don't have a clue if they will let me pass or not.

They let me pass. We keep running!

I get a new boarding pass.
And we start running again! I'm thinking " I don't want to leave this country, that's why this is happening..."
After a lot of running, we go to the gate. And I've got my boarding pass. A whole plane is waiting for me! I am delaying a whole flight....

affection

I am ready to go to the bus, which will take us to the airplane.

A guy stops me again.
The date on my passport is yesterdays date!
They did not change the bloody date after midnight!
I do not believe this!

"I certainly do not want to leave" I'm thinking.

Finally they decided to let me pass with yesterdays' date. I get on the bus and everybody is staring at me. Or so I think. God knows how long they have been waiting in that bus for me.

And this is the end of my little Cairo adventure. I still remember it and laugh. It's when things are not going according to plan that they are more interesting! They add up a little spice to your travelling...