Waiting...

Waiting for time to pass... Waiting for the truck to carry my very personal things to my hometown. As always, the truck drivers have been on strike the past two weeks. It seems that time unfolds in it's own way to allow me to finish all I have to do.

Most of my books, CD's, clothes, shoes bags, have been sold or given away. My beloved bicycle has been sold. My house is almost empty and almost ready to be rented to it's new owner. I'm sad, but I'm also happy. I was surprised by my complete detachment from all these material things. I was ready to give up on everything I owned.

I remember I was like this always. I never wanted a couch or any other big furniture. Whenever I bought something big, I made sure it could be dismantled and moved easily. It seems that I was getting ready for this moment for the whole of my life.

Thanks to the generosity of my friends and of strangers who donated through this blog, I now have enough money to pay my bills and my ticket to Italy.

There's only one last bit. To go to my hometown and say goodbye to my parents face to face. Stand up to them and tell them what my dream is. Will they understand? They might not, but I have the feeling they will stand next to me, whatever my decision will be.

Anyway, the relationship with my parents is so complicated because I have mixed feelings myself. The little girl inside me wants to belong, while the adult me does not. I must have a conversation with the little one inside me. I must reassure her that family is the heart...