Why am I leaving: Part 2

I wrote the greek post yesterday, because there was an article for me in a greek portal. So I wrote in greek. Something like an homage to my country and my fellow citizens. This article boosted my pageviews and I got lots of congratulations and supportive words from people who did not even know me. First of all: Thanks Yioula, for exposing my story! Second, thanks everybody for being supportive, kind and generous!

I feel I have been misunderstood by some. So I will elaborate for those who are interested.

1. I am not ESCAPING. Five years ago I made myself a promise. I will love myself and I'll try hard to find what my real destination in life is. I had to dig deep. I had to see all the dark points. I had to become a friend of my shadow. It was a rollercoaster. I found out things that were buried deep inside. I found the real me. The real me is a traveller. Working voluntarily in farms is a cheap way of travelling at the moment and I do love nature. I might find something else to do later on. I might help a group of women in Africa; I might go to an orphanage in South America, who knows? But most of all I want to work as a traveller, writer and photographer.

2. To follow my dream I have to give up some things. I have to pay a price.

I am leaving my beloved partner Antonis whom I have loved for the past five years and still love. He is a lovely man who knows that love sets you free. He is supporting me in my journey. He does not want to see me live a life I don't want to live. He understands. I will love him dearly, even if he decides to find another woman while I'm gone. I'm setting him free as well. It's difficult. It hurts very much.

I also have to give up my beloved pet. Freeda has been my loyal dog and we were together for the past one and a half year. She travelled everywhere with me. But now I have to leave her behind, with Antonis who will care for her. It's difficult. It hurts very much.

My best friend Vassilis was with me in both trips. He helped me and I helped him. Am I gonna miss him? Oh so very much! It's difficult. It hurts very much.

All my other friends, all the people I was talking to at the park walking my dog, all these friends I made through work, all these fantastic inspiring people, people who stood by me when I was in need... Afroditi, Ilias, Nikos, Iliana, Elena, Kostas, Giwrgos, Penelope, Marina, Giannis, Maria, Anastasia, Stamatia, Nikos, Spyros, Xaris, Peggy, Dimitris, Panayotis, Youla, Filippos, Lilia... the list goes on and I'm sure I forget some. Yes, I have many people I can call friends. And I will miss them all. It's difficult. And it hurts very much.

Yes, I will miss my parents. What if something happens to them when I'm gone? We have our ups and downs, but I do love them very much. It's difficult. And it hurts very much.


But my heart tells me, no, yells at me. TRAVEL! SEE THE WORLD! YOU ARE A TRAVELLER. And I have come to love myself too much to ignore it.

Yes I am crying while I'm writing all this. I'm gonna miss all these great, loving people. But they are going to be my home. My home in my heart and not in the physical form. It hurts so very much to leave them behind, and I just realized it. Shit! When am I gonna see them again? Thank you very much for being here for me and supporting me all these years! You will always be in my heart...

3. I do not expect anybody to follow my dream. My dream is my dream and nobody else's. I hope that everybody finds his/her own dream and give up EVERYTHING to follow it. It's not easy. I take full responsibility for my dream. I am what I am and I am proud of it.

4. My home is my heart. I can live with it. Every traveller understands this. My home is myself and I feel comfortable in myself.

Thanks,
elina